Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I forgot to pay my bill to the exorcist and so I got re-possesed.
It’s that time of the evening where my beer bottle has magically turned into a microphone again.
1: Say "Unh! 2: Mumble three spanish words. 3: list four cities. You just made a Pitbull song.
My cats always look at me like I should have planned something for us to do.
I must have a great butt because every time I finish talking with someone and start to walk away, I hear them whisper "What an a$$."
You are not stupid, I just think you have bad luck when thinking.
I`m alone in my car ... Counting it as a vacation.
I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.
That last phone call with my wife was so boring, I feel like I owe the NSA an apology.
That awkward moment when you sing the wrong part of a song with confidence.
If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, nobody else wanted them either :)
Do the right thing today: Go to someone`s profile, scroll down 4 months, and like something.
Santa gets all the credit and I get all the debt.
I didn`t see anyone important today, so I`ll probably wear these same clothes tomorrow.
Facebook really needs a “pee on someone’s wall” option.