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Girls think that having their period is the most inconvenient thing they can experience. They`ve obviously never dated a girl who was on her period.
My tombstone will read I should have googled it first.
One should love animals.. They are so tasty.
Dogs lick each other`s butts to tell each other they like them. Just like politicians
Sure, I`ll go to your open bar and watch you get married.
None of the animals I designed and invented are at the zoo. Do they even check the suggestion box?
Man what a day. I pulled my groin...for like 20 minutes.
You could completely eliminate the semicolon key and 90% of people wouldn`t notice... until they needed to wink at somebody.
Just ONCE I`d like someone to call me "sir" without adding "this is a place of business, please put your pants back on."
Girlfriend: No, you hang up... Me: (click)
To Do: Figure out how to get paid to travel the world and eat.
Surprise your wife today. Sell all her shoes and buy something nice for yourself.
Every time I see an obese cop, a small part of me hopes he has to chase me.
I dont have awkward moments I have "special" moments.e.g That "special" moment when my "special" ex learns that karma exist..