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When you wish upon a shooting star, all your dreams will come true. Unless the star is really a meteor about to destroy the earth. Then, you´re pretty much dead no matter what you wish for.
I believe in karma that means I can do bad things to people I don’t like and assume they deserved it.
I thought Row vs. Wade was Washington`s decision when he reached the Delaware.
I inboxed a girl on Facebook and she never replied. I guess you could say we`re `seen` each other.
This bank pen tastes like it`s been in a lot of other people`s mouths
The real reason the Mayan civilization collapsed is they never updated their Adobe.
I knew the fun part of my life was over when my friends started getting pregnant on purpose
Hmmm… Who should I stalk on Facebook now? :)
If you hear a roommate having loud sex, a cool thing to do is kick down the door and shout "player 3 has entered the game!"
If you want to set up a company and run it then that`s your business.
If you ever want to know what you look like to the world, don’t look in a mirror, have a child draw you.
The reason grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup are such a great combination is because they are the same basic ingredients as pizza.
Confucius would have been great at Status Updates......
My therapist recommended I quit growling at people...
If you have time to update your status as "very busy", then you obviously exaggerated.