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My hair only looks good on days when no one important sees it.
Of course your opinion matters. Just not to me.
Who knew rock bottom was so crowded?
Dont let facebook fool you we aint friends
If one goes to online college, do they have to haze them self?
If kindness really kills, you`ll always be completely safe around me.
your status deserves a standing ovation but I`m lazy I`ll just click `like`
Sometimes people come into your life and they need to stop doing that
I hate it when auto-correct changes my "omg" to "OMG" like, chill out, I`m not that surprised.
Happiness is realizing you can have as many drinks as you want ... cause you`re not driving.
I hate it when TV shows say they contain "adult situations" but then don`t show anyone going to work, paying their bills or cleaning up their kid`s vomit.
"Woo, I`m on a roll today, baby!" -butter
If the cup is only half full, I suggest buying a smaller bra.
My boss told me "Dress for the job you want, not the job you have" Am now sat in a disciplinary meeting wearing my Batman costume
Car alarms should sound like two chicks in a fight. I`d look out the window for that.