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In movies, do actors wear costume underwear? Or underwear from home? The whole thing is confusing. I don`t think I can keep watching movies
My next relationship will be with someone who thinks "Wine" is a perfectly acceptable answer when he asks what`s for dinner.
NERD WEDDING: Instead of saying “I do.” They say “I accept the terms & conditions.”
Handle every stressful situation like a Dog.....Pee on it and walk away.
Apparently, you can only say "Look at you! You got so big!" to kids. Old girlfriends tend to get offended. Who knew?
Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
Baby gates are parents` way of saying "this area is locked until you’ve gained more experience."
My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, "What`s on TV?" I said, "Dust." And then the fight started...
So far, I`ve had exactly "call my ex" number of beers tonight!!!
I bet if you walked up to any table at a restaurant and said "Good afternoon folks" they will let you take their order.
80% of my status updates are BS, 15% are bologna and 5% are 100% straight from the heart.
Baking soda seems like a scam. "Be sure to keep this box of magic white powder in the back of your refrigerator."
I try not to limit my madness to March.
The man who created the Thesaurus has died. He`ll be fondly remembered, commemorated, memorialized, recalled and recollected.
All of my plans for the future start out with “when I get rich”