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America: Where stairs are only used for emergency escape purposes.
One quality I`m not looking for in a partner is the ability to maintain a virtual farm. #FarmVille
Whoever lost a bundle of $20 bills tied up in a rubber band..I found the rubber band..
Was sitting and doing nothing. Then I realized I could be sitting and doing nothing on Facebook. So here I am.
They say when a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage, it is love, after marriage, it is self-defense.
Laugh if you will but this night-light has an undefeated record at repelling Boogeymen.
No matter what you do on the computer you always end up on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or Youtube.
I have a million dollar idea that I will share with the first million people to send me a dollar.......
I spent yesterday painting some kickass flames on a car. I bet whoever owns it was stoked when they came out of the mall.
If you’re that person that makes microwave popcorn at work, nobody likes you.
I`ve seen bride magazines but have yet to see "Eager Groom" magazines.
If Facebook has taught us anything, it`s that a lot of people are not quite ready for a Spelling Bee.
I mostly use Facebook to remember why I stopped hanging out with certain people.
If people who shop at Walmart, “Save Money. Live Better.” Exactly how bad were these people living BEFORE Walmart?
The important thing to remember is that nobody asked you.