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"F@ck It" has gotten me through a lot of situations.
I hate when a couple argues in public but I missed the start and don`t know whose side I`m on.
The only real difference between my 20s and my 30s is that now I make all my bad decisions before midnight.
A man tried to sell me a coffin today. I told him that`s the last thing I need.
Hang out with different people everyday so the only person who knows you`ve been wearing the same outfit all week is you.
If you want a successful relationship, find someone who likes the same thermostat setting you do.
Take time to reflect upon your day. Think of all the blessings you received, and everything you may be called to testify about :)))
Kids today will never appreciate how difficult it used to be finding pictures of naked people.
You know you are meant to be when you high five after sex.
Whenever I feel all alone in the world, I remind myself that I`m a valued customer at several grocery stores.
Most people don`t realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you.
Trojan should be sponsoring Teen Mom. That show is the best advertisement for why you should always wear condoms.
Of course it`s you....there`s no f*cking way it`s me...
You know you`re drunk when you sit down on the toilet & try to put your seatbelt on
Friends who buy you food are friends for life.