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Whats the difference between a phone number & an opinion? People ask for your phone number.
My dog acts like his entire family was murdered by a vacuum cleaner.
Want the truth? Just ask a kid.
with great power...comes great electric bill...
There`s no panic like trying to press "End" when you make an accidental call.
If today were a fish, I`d throw it back.
If a Police Officer says, Anything you say will be taken down & used as evidence... Your answer should always be, Please don`t hit me again officer...
Beauty is only a light switch away...
The Roomba vacuum cleaner just beat me to a piece of popcorn I dropped on the floor & this is how the war against the machines begins.
Of course everyone deserves a 2nd chance, but I gave yours to someone else.
I don`t need drugs to have a good time, I need them to focus, avoid depression, endure winter, fall asleep, and controll my high blood pressure
See, I would run, but it`s usually bodies of joggers that are found dead in the woods.
I don’t care if it’s 1 A.M. I don’t consider it “tomorrow” until I wake up.
If you walk a mile in my shoes the least you can do is leave a pair of yours to wear.
If banks were as fiercely regulated as McDonalds breakfast cut off time, there’d be no problems.