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A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
is about to stick a pin in your voodoo doll... brace yourself.
Looks like Waldo got on the malasian plane.. well played waldo.. well played..
Do bees even have knees?
WARNING!! I have character defects and I`m not afraid to use them.
As long as everything is exactly the way I want it. I`m totally flexible.
I’m going to start telling girls that I’m available for a limited time only in hopes that their shopping instinct kicks in.
Whenever I`m out somewhere there is a 99% chance I am thinking about going home and sleeping.
Siblings – the only people who will pick on you and then kick the a$$es of anyone else who does it.
My relationship with whiskey has been on the rocks lately
I would really like to help you move your furniture tomorrow but I’m going to be too busy sitting on mine
I just missed winning the lottery by only 6 numbers.
I’m planning on ringing the new year in with a kiss ... whether my dog likes it or not.
"F*ck that sh!t", is a perfectly acceptable replacement for the word "no"
Thanks to the words “dude”, “bro”, and “man”, I haven’t said my best friends name in 10 years.