Daily Silly Status

We live in a society that’s the most knowledgeable about a zombie apocalypse, but the most likely to be eaten while staring at our phones.

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

Who else has dropped the phone on their face while laying in bed reading Facebook?

Sadly no matter how hard you try, you can`t mail a fart. Too bad though, because this would actually make paying Bills a lot more fun.

I love you more each day as my other options diminish.

Scientists have recently discovered that approximately 2% of Earth`s water at any given time is found on Tupperware containers being removed from the dishwasher

The only thing I`ve learned from scary movies is to avoid pale children

I`m starting to doubt that all of the people in this singing group are called Carol.

I am fluent in three languages: English, Profanity, and Sarcasm

Your mother never saw the irony in calling you son of a bitch.

Weekends r like d salary.. It takes a lot to get thr, & whn it finally does, it`s over in no time ;) - aa

If you wear your old prom dress to the pharmacy, they`ll fill your antidepressants faster.

Damn girl are you a cobweb cause you`re really clingy and annoying

I really like this new reality show "Neighbor Without Drapes"

If you love something, set it free. Maybe not dogs with rabies though. Or killer bees or pretty much any domesticated animal into the wild. Lots of stuff really. Look, the point is don`t love anything.