Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Setting my coffee maker to `stun`
As I said before, I never repeat myself.
I bet spongebob will get his license before Taylor Swift finds love.
Person: You`re blocking the view. Me: B!tch, I am the view!
Why do the people with the most annoying voices always appear to have the worst case of verbal diarrheal??!!
All my bills say "outstanding", I guess that means I`m good to go!
My arm fell asleep, which is understandable, considering how boring the rest of my body has been.
Bring a hedgehog into the library and frantically ask the clerks where they keep the reverse spell casting books.
I hate when I oversleep at work and get home late.
Anyone know how to get a red wine stain off a baby? asking for a friend
I can eat a piece of pie without a plate or a fork what else should I write on this dating site profile?
The best way to get over someone is probably with your car
We are best friends. Always remember that if you fall, I will pick you up… After I finish laughing.
Donald Duck, saying screw you to pants since 1934.
Admit it: you have all tried to rap in the shower..