Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Insomnia is very common. Try not to lose any sleep over it.
I’ve been a sucker for boobies since the day I was born.
Life isn`t a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, chances are you are going to walk home barefoot.
A broken clock is right twice a day. I guess what I am saying is, that a broken clock is right more than you.
Somebody is out there, somewhere, thinking of the impact you`ve made in their life. It`s not me. I think your an idiot.
I`ll call it a smartphone the day I yell "Where`s my phone?" and it yells "Down here! In the couch cushions!"
Facebook needs a "settle down" button.. You tap on a friend`s profile, that locks them out for a day so they can work through stuff privately..
New research reported that men enjoy snuggling. A second study showed that men will say anything to get a researcher into bed.
The early bird gets the worm. But the rest of the birds can get McGriddles until 10:30.
Getting older is pretty much just paying bills and finally understanding why killers in horror flicks target teenagers.
People say laughter is the best medicine, but I’d like to think a beer is the way to go.
Men think us women dream of finding the perfect man when really, all we want is to eat anything without getting fat.
Sometimes I laugh so hard the tears run down my leg ;)
As you get older your Christmas list gets shorter, because the things you want can`t be bought.
Rest area restrooms are weird. The guy in stall next to me has four feet.