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When I say "I cleaned my room", I usually mean I made a path from my door to my bed.
I got drunk last night and watched the most hilarious television show for hours until I sobered up and realized it was just a mirror.
I`m sure the fellow below don`t have big feet :(
Hi, welcome to adulthood! You`ll be constantly tired except for right before you need to go to sleep.
"Probiotic" sounds a lot better than "bacteria infested"
When someone ask me... How are you?... I answer back... You mean in bed?
I`ve been running as fast as I can, but I still can`t catch my breath.
when humans are in love they get butterflys...dose that mean when butterflys are in love they get humans!! :)
To the lady at Costco with her son on a leash. I`m sorry that I asked if he was a rescue.
It usually only takes about five minutes into any conversation I’m having before people start shaking their head and quoting the bible.
You`d think by episode 133 the Scooby Doo gang would know it`s a guy in a costume every time.
If money grew on trees, Congress would actually care about the environment.
if drinking destroys your memory .... what does drinking do ?
I have a condition that renders me unable to go on a diet… I get hungry.
New documentary movie about white trash .... I only saw the trailer ....