Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I got drunk last night and watched the most hilarious television show for hours until I sobered up and realized it was just a mirror.
Never judge a whiskey by its drinker.
The downside to posting jokes all the time is that if I posted "Help, I am in an Iranian prison" everyone would be like "haha good one"
My body keeps doing these muscle twitches like it wants me to get off this couch and move around. HAHAHAHA. As if.
If I`ve learned anything from Facebook, it`s that you shouldn`t be learning on Facebook.
Pro tip: Do not make snow angels in a dog park.
If you lift up the handle on the car door at the same time I`m trying to unlock it more than two times, I`m driving off without you.
You know you`re a bad driver when Siri tells you "after 400 feet stop and let me out"
I used to be in a band called "missing cat". You`ve probably seen our poster.
I just put Santa hats on all my Halloween decorations.
Do you ever look through old pictures and wonder, “Where the hell did that shirt go?”
If it doesn’t involve food or sleep, I’m probably not interested.
Clearly if you have to blame yourself, you`re not hanging out with enough people.
There are some people in this world who make you totally understand Hannibal Lecter.
Leave a comment if you`ve started drinking. Hit the `Like` button if you`re already sh!tfaced. *Cheers*