Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
They should turn off Netflix at 1:00am for people with jobs and no willpower....bastards
I`m pretty sure if I put what was actually on my mind as my Facebook status, all my friends would delete me.
I saw a poor old lady fall over today, at least I presume she was poor, she only had $ 1,20 in her purse
Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parents job.
The problem with the world is intelligent people are full of doubts, while stupid people are full of confidence.
I don`t know why I ever signed up for Facebook. I mean like seriously, this dating website sucks!
I used to date a magazine editor. But, I broke up with her because she just had too many issues. No YOU shut up!
Give a man a jacket, and he will stay warm when he goes outside. Teach a man to jack it, and he won`t go outside at all.
It’s amazing how long you can hold your farts at the beginning of a relationship.
Relatives comin` ~ hide all awesome stuff!
My 17yo pretends he doesn`t understand how the washer works when I ask him to do the laundry Congrats, you`re finally a man
I bet heroin addicts can open a Capri sun on the first try.
Whenever you can`t think of anything to say in therapy just go with, "I`ve been thinking about killing you."
.Monday: No. Tuesday: Ugh. Wednesday: Why. Thursday: Omg. Friday: Finally. Saturday: Yes. Sunday: Crying.
Alright, I give up! I`ve listened to the song like 50 times now, and I still don`t know what the fox is saying!