Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Two flies sit on a pile of poop. One fly passes gas. The other fly looks at him and says, "Hey do you mind? I`m eating here."
Have you hugged you bartender today.
Muffins – for people who don’t have the guts to order cake for breakfast.
Live in the moment. Unless the moment sucks. Then live on Facebook.
I always hold the door for ladies, but they never seem to get in the car when I do that.
May you live to be so old that your driving terrifies people.
I think I’m allergic to mornings.
Sociologists say that social media is creating the laziest generation ever. I expressed my opinion in great detail by hitting the “Like” button.
Roses are red, violets are blue, If your parents told you you`re beautiful, they`re lyin to you..:D
If you`re wondering why you`re single, date someone. You`ll remember
I didn`t break the rules. They were broken when I got here.
Not to brag, but my bathroom floor is so clean I can sleep on it. Apparently.
Hi you`ve reached my voicemail,,, Please leave your name, number and a damn good reason why this conversation couldn`t be done over text
If you can`t handle me at my worst I completely understand, because I can`t either.
Wanna have a little fun? Post "Anyone know a good lawyer?" Then sit back and watch the speculation run wild!