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Wait...so the "c-word" isn`t co-worker?
Reality is for those who can`t handle alcohol
I took a poll recently, and 100% of strippers were angry they had nothing to dance on.
Drinking: because why not intensify the feelings you`re trying to escape?
My friend says to me, "What rhymes with orange?" I said, "No it doesn`t."
God knew that there would be times that a single middle finger wouldn`t be enough.
Geez....Why do they only make hand creams that smell feminine? Why can`t they they make one with a masculine scent? Something like Doritos or WD-40?
My kids will be mad at me when they discover it isn’t illegal to talk in the car while I’m driving.
When asked `What would you bring with you to a deserted island`, how come no one ever replies, `A boat.`?
I don`t think stupid people understand how much effort goes into not punching them in the face
I finally finished my 4,000 piece jigsaw puzzle. It reads- " Get a life you sad F**k "
My Wife says I talk while I sleep..........but I`m skeptical. Nobody at work has ever mentioned it
So apparently I`ve been Googling `Asian Prom` this whole time. I watched like seven videos before I realized they weren`t going to bang.
Congratulation! You`ve won a lifetime supply of air! Not valid under water, in space, when dead, or while choking.
People with no money sure do have a lot of pot.