Daily Silly Status

I may have just inadvertently accomplished something.

I thought white noise was the sound of people complaining at Starbucks.

Me- We need eggs. Hub- How many? Me- One. See if they will sell you just one.

Siri, destroy the vehicle in front of me.

I`m an accident looking for a place to happen!

As I was signing into my email account instead of yahoo.com I typed hayoo.com...nope, it wasn`t right but I got to thinking it would be quite appropriate, afterall, we`re trying to get someone`s attention, right?

My kids constantly yell at me whenever I try take their pictures, and I tell `em: "You`re gonna need them in 20 years for your Throw Back Thursdays updates"..... whatever!!

Don`t, under any circumstance, believe I`ll return your Tupperware.

you know what`s funny? Obviously neither do I or I would have posted it.

There’s a reason why “sober” and “so bored” sound almost exactly the same.

Spent 40 minutes on the treadmill this morning. Next time I might turn it on.

I believe that every person has a story to tell...which is why I stay at home.

I`m so poor I went to the ducks today to beg for bread...

The person next to me just farted.. Does this mean my lungs are full of his poo particles -.-

I`m just amazed after all these years that we STILL haven`t seen Mario`s buttcrack.