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Aren`t they Middle-Age Mutant Ninja Turtles now?
Make Tomorrow More Fun: Unplug the copier at work & put a sign on it that says “now voice activated!” Sit back & watch the magic unfold
Someone asked me today if ive ever been with two women at the same time. But why would I want to disappoint two women at the same time?
"The Twilight Zone" makes me long for the days when you could smoke on a spaceship.
Never call a woman crazy because she will say, "I`m not crazy!" and then go and do something crazy. Probably with matches.
Shouldn`t we get paid to use the self-service checkouts in supermarkets? It`s like we work there for a little while.
Why non-smokers don`t take bubble blowing breaks is beyond me
If you have really strong opinions on subjects that you know very little about... then Facebook just may be the perfect thing for you.
Ever been in the middle of writing a great post and think, did I just run someone over?
for those people out there who don`t know me, congrats your not a facebook addict
The hardest things about beginning any new relationship has got to be learning how to fart quietly again.
One fun way to describe Facebook is “imagine you are a mind reader in Walmart.”
Relationship has 12 letters, but then again so does alcohollllll
My kid go from "omg...you`re impossible I can`t wait until I`m 18!" To "You`re the best mom ever" in a matter of $100
You know you`re drunk when you sit down on the toilet & try to put your seatbelt on