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I bet you $567.89 you can’t guess how much I owe my bookie.
I don`t necessarily enjoy being the bad influence...but hey, somebody has to do it!
Anybody else have that annoying problem of Work and Family interfering with your FaceBook time?
Helpful Tip : The police never think it`s as funny as you do.
Hit me with your pet shark #RuinAn80sSong
I`m having one of those days where my middle finger is answering all my questions...
Just wrote β€˜You have no new messages’ on a piece of paper, put it in a bottle and threw it far out to sea.
Too bored to do nothing. Too lazy to do anything.
My wife and I laugh at how competitive we are at things, but I laugh more.
I don’t appreciate the 5 minute radio ads about how commercial-free the station is.
My original account got suspended for aggressive behavior and they haven`t even seen me in bed yet.
I like to skip when I`m carrying my flamethrower cause no one ever suspects a skipping girl of starting fires.
Women say all men are dogs, but fail to realize that dogs are the most loyal creatures in the world if you treat them right.
the only way I know something is bad for me is if I like it
I have two words for this week. BEER ME!!!