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Ziploc`s idea of how big a sandwich should be is very different than mine.
I thought Row vs. Wade was Washington`s decision when he reached the Delaware.
Do you ever get that feeling that you are being watched? Because if it is bothering you, I can stop.
This hangover feels like Quentin Tarantino directed it.
I`ve been struggling with my laziness. I can`t decide if I should sit down and do nothing or lie down and do nothing.
I was born to make mistakes, not to fake perfection.
To be Frank, I`ll have to change my name.
I’ve made some pretty bad choices in life but I have to admit, having orange juice with Oreos was the worst.
I`m honestly convinced some women do not fart. They just hold it in, and it comes out as drama.
If ignorance is bliss then there`s a crap load of people in paradise
There`s a sucker born every minute, but swallowers are harder to find.
okay it was me..... I did it ..... I let the dogs out
The best part about being an adult is, nobody can tell you, you can`t have ice cream for breakfast.
Overheard at grocery: Paper or plastic, sir? Doesn’t matter. Im bisacksual.
Just found my TV remote and a newspaper in my fridge. It`s pretty awesome that society lets me live by myself.