Daily Silly Status

Don`t sweat the small stuff. Don`t sweat the medium or large stuff either. Stop perspiring on everything. Take your sweaty a$$ elsewhere.

There’s too much blood in my caffeine system

I love it when I Google something I should know the answer to and find out 308 people are just as dumb as I am.

Girls are always taking your hoodies but you take one of their dresses and suddenly they`re all like "we need to talk."

I love my friends unconditionally.* *Certain terms and conditions may apply. May not be available on all days. Coverage not available in all locations.Offer good for 30 days.Requires two-year minimum agreement. Fees applied for activation and early termination.

Ever wanna tell someone to shut the f*ck up even when they are not speaking

I hope to get to the point in my life where I’m not excited about finding change on the ground.

You know its going to be a b!tch of a day when you put your bra on backwards and it fits better.

Whoa. I just did something & almost forgot to document it on facebook. That was a close one.

Do these people in movies who wander off into the woods alone at night not watch movies?

There is no time like the present for postponing what you ought to be doing.

Being an American is awesome. The end.

Don`t take nude pics. Problem solved.

I surveyed 100 women on what shampoo they prefer while showering 95% said How the hell did you get in here!!!

If two donuts are stuck together it counts as one right?