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never be afraid to wipe twice
Stop saying `all the men are the same` who told you to try them all..WHORE!!?¿
If you borrow my laptop and the volume is at 16% go wash your hands immediately
Why doesn’t The Rock just tell us what he’s cooking? I can’t pair wines like this.
After four centuries, the semicolon has finally achieved it`s true calling: helping people wink online.
the only correct answer to are u ticklish? is i have explosive diareha right now
If animals spoke our language we`d be in their debt because they`d have some seriously incriminating dirt on all of us.
Unless your kid`s fundraiser is selling booze, I want no part of it.
I`m in my 30`s, but I still feel like I`m in my 20`s until I hang out with people in their 20`s and I`m like, "nope, I`m in my 30`s"
To the dude I just saw driving a beat up Ford mini van with spare tire and dream catcher on mirror: that dream catchers not working dude!
if your looking for love sorry to disappoint you im already in a relationship with fun and freedom. :-)
Scared the mailman today by going to the door completely naked. Not sure what scared him more, my naked body or that I knew where he lived.
My local news station says it gives us " news when it breaks " ...I want unbroken news!!
Losing weight is not working for me, so I`m concentrating on getting taller.
I recently added squats to my workouts by moving the beer into the bottom shelf of the fridge.