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If you take Viagra with iron supplements it will cause you spin around and point North.
Scariest thing ever: when a kid sings a nursery rhyme really slow.
I have thought a lot about it and I am thrilled to announce that I have decided to never die.
Did you know that if you put a finger in your ear and scratch, it sounds like Pacman.
I cant afford a Snuggie so I just wear my robe backwards...
Women are like squirrels, very cute from a distance but will fight like hell when you try to pick them up and get them in your car.
My nickname is Gilette because I`m the best a man can get. Also, I will cut you
More people would call the Gambling Addicts Helpline if they made every 5th caller a winner.
I watched my first porn movie today. I looked so much younger back then.
Pay phones should be replaced with chargers for cell phones.
If life is a Bitch, then why hasn´t it made me a Sandwich
None of us have it as bad as the porcupine giving birth to another porcupine.
Jogging with a stroller is great exercise! And hard work for whoever is pushing me.
RIGHT NOW YOU HAVE: 3 fingers behind your phone, your pinky tucked under for support and your scrolling with your thumb! LIKE if I’m right!!!!
Sorry I had to cancel for the 5th time in a row, I thought you would stop inviting me by now.