Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Just tried to pay for my McDonalds with a hug, it didn`t work. Don`t believe the rumors.
Idk what was worse, the fact that my girlfriend text me saying “sorry breaking up with you” or that a minute later she text me back “sorry wrong number.”
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn`t hire stupid people......
I`m here to pick you up when you fall. Whether I tripped you is another thing...
Yes, I know why you pulled me over. I didn`t see you in your little hiding spot over there, so I couldn`t slow down in time.
It’s 2013, why does good food still have calories.
You can’t call them “love handles” if nobody loves you
Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
To honor Thanksgiving this month I will be calling every one Pilgrim instead of Dude or Bro-- Fair warning
Eat breakfast: Check...Pay Phone: Check...Conquer the world: Still Pending...
eHarmony should be more like Amazon “customers who slept with Tina172 also slept with LuvinLife_83, TaintMisbehavin, and Cat_Lover03?.
Man: "You look nice today..." Woman: "Was I ugly yesterday?"
Someone tore off my warning label when I was born.
I can`t believe people used to have to paint selfies.
Based on my reaction to toast popping out of a toaster, I’d like to recommend you never throw me a surprise party.