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When a woman asks you to guess her age, it`s like deciding whether to cut the blue, red, or green wire to diffuse a bomb
I never meant to be so cold, I never meant to be so cold. - Mother nature
"I am upping my standards... so up yours!"
Reverse Psychology: DO not STALK MY FB PAGE. YOU ARE not OBSESSED WITH ME...
We will always have that special 5 minutes before I started creeping you out.
Not to brag, but they know me by name at the liquor store and the police station.
My son asked me to explain women to him, so I bought him an XBOX game for his Playstation.
Whats the best part about dating a homeless chick, ..... You can drop her off anywhere
Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.
they say money cant buy you happiness but id much rather be crying in a fararri...
Gotta thin the herd. – me eating animal crackers
At the Touch of Love..Everyone Becomes a Poet !
But..At the Touch of Breakup Everyone Becomes a Philosopher... ^_^
It’s only Wednesday and I’m 95% done with this week.
How much would you have to pay a teacher to flunk your kid so he has to go to Summer School? Just planning ahead...
We live in a time where "He is hot" is more important than "He is a nice guy."