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I`m trying to be healthy and grow my own food but I can`t find any Twinkie seeds. :/
To all them girls who go out , looking sexy as hell but have boyfriends.......Please continue to do so when you`re married.
"i wasn`t that drunk"..Dude!you tied me to a chair and bitch-slapped me,yelling "where`s Harry Potter!!"
"Why haven`t you been answering my pigeons?" -- Girlfriends in the 17th century probably
So far today has been a pretty good day...I haven`t had to bite or hit anyone, yet!!
I can’t believe it’s 2012 and there is still no fold button on my dryer.
woman belong in the kitchen? thats where the knives are you fool.
You know you`re getting old when you have to have a drink to motivate you to go out & have a drink.
you know you`ve been facebooking too much when you accidentally say "LOL", in person...
I Like this quote. I dislike this quote. I am so clever that sometimes I don´t understand a single word of what I am saying.
Some people are just beautifully wrapped boxes of crap.
If Guys Wrote Valentine’s Cards: “I don’t even need beer to think you’re attractive.”
I haven’t lived paycheck to paycheck since my last paycheck.
Calling out your ex`s name during sex is a nice way to show your current lover that you won`t forget them after you break up.
If I had a penny for everytime I heard you bitch at me I`d have enough money to invest in a hitman