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Girls who say "alot of guys are after me" should keep in mind that cheap things always attract many customers.
I think I`m gonna shave my legs so that there`s less wind resistance when I run to the fridge for a beer.
Sleeping alone is a complete waste of my sexual talent.....
How could a man who is covered in tattoos be afraid of commitment?
There really isn`t much difference between being a kid and being an adult. I was just as emotionally crippled upon learning the truth about Penthouse Letters as I was about Santa Claus.
If you just show up to a delivery room in scrubs and carry a video camera you can usually film like 7 or 8 births before they throw you out
My mother suggested that I get professional help... and that`s when I hired my first hooker.
After 3 "it`s complicated" statuses, Facebook should just default to "Unstable"
Who picks up a seeing eye dogs poop?
Is anyone else`s alcohol tolerance too high for their paycheck?
Roses are red, violets are blue, the boss snuck out early, so I left too.
Are there actually people who get out of the shower to pee? I want to meet them.
My new year`s resolution is that donuts have no calories.
I went to the missing persons` beurau. No one was there.
My GF`s anti aging cream went bad ... How does anti aging cream have an expiration date?!