Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
People who text back... "kk" ... Are so annoying! ....and almost racist
Crap, summer is here and I`m nowhere near in drinking shape yet.
I’m probably single because I forgot to forward those chain messages from 2008.
Why does `beans` only mean secret when it`s "Don`t spill the beans?" Why can`t I say I have a dirty little beans to tell you?
I used to date this girl that worked at Hasbro, but I finally got sick of all her games.
If you are what you eat then where is this place that a ton of people are eating stupid?
“we should hang out soon” loosely translates to I’m doing everything in my power to end this stupid conversation.
I feel bad for lions at zoos. How would you feel if a bunch of pizzas came to your house, took your picture, and you couldn’t even eat them?
When life gives you lemons....throw them back and yell, "I wanted cookies!"
I`d like to have a child one day ... Two days, tops.
I swear I can hear Google sigh every time I start typing in their search bar.
Imagine my disappointment when I discovered a "Booby Prize" really wasn`t boobies at all...:(
If you get pulled over, ignore the cop and tell him that your mommy told you not to talk to strangers.
Of course women have cleaner minds than men. They change them so damn often.
If we meet offline and you look nothing like your photos, you`re buying me drinks until you do.