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I may look like I`m doing nothing, but in my head I`m quite busy.
Life is what happens when your cell phone is charging.
If you see me talking to myself don`t be alarmed. I`m getting expert advice.
According to the law it`s not appropriate to put a bounty on my boss. I actually thought it showed great initiative and leadership.
I do procrastinate more than I should, but it always gives me something to do tomorrow...
My mind is exceptionally quiet.... I am suspicious that I am up to something I don`t want myself to know about.
If you don’t like being tailgated then don’t play movies I like.
The road to hell is paved with good intentions Note to self...avoid good intentions at all costs.
Women have a lot more experience dealing with bloodstains than men. Men are convicted of murder a lot more than women. Coincidence?
My 2017 resolution is to stop thinking so much about the future.
Billion dollar idea: A phone that charges using body fat!
If you are alone and feeling lonely, fart. Someone always walks in after you fart.
How come there are never any restrooms in my dreams
I wan`t you to know that someone cares. not me, but someone.
Laugh now but at the rate they are reproducing, the people of Walmart may one day take over the world.