Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
No one has ever said, "You know what would make this even better? ... Turkey bacon."
My boss hates "yes" men and I have to agree with him.
Snoring is just God`s way of ensuring women hate their husbands while they sleep too.
Sometimes I wonder how people who don`t have kids get their TV remotes from the other side of the room.
If at first you don`t succeed then you`re a loser...
Sometimes I find myself envious of how well Waldo can hide..
Dear whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office – I will track you down. You have my Word.
People say that 60 is the new 40. The cop who pulled me over didn`t agree.
My grandma told me her joints are getting weaker, so I told her to roll them tighter.
It`s all sh*ts and giggles till somebody giggles and sh*ts
Does shaking the vending machine count as working ...
Let`s be honest... Gay Divorce Court would be the best thing to happen to daytime TV in the history of ever.
If he only wants you for your breasts, legs, and thighs; Send him to KFC by SIMO
My new diet plan consists of multiple naps. Because you can`t stuff your face when you`re sleeping.
I sure could help a lot of needy people if I won the big Powerball draw. Mainly sales people needing a commission, but still...