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Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. Im pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
I`m old enough to remember when cell phones actually got smaller every year.
Some people are more confused then a chameleon in a packet of Skittles.
“They dared me to” is ALWAYS a valid excuse.
They say when a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage, it is love, after marriage, it is self-defense.
if money grew of trees, girls would be dating monkeys
Proposing to a woman isn’t like choosing a life-long business partner. It’s more like hiring your own boss.
the `real` me doesnt do facebook
Actually, I prefer to smile on the `inside`, then no one knows what you`re up to....
Sunday morning = lazy lay in my bed and fart under my sheets all day :)
You know you`re non-domesticated when the only reason you finally transfer the dishes from the sink to the dishwasher is so you can gain access to the garbage disposal.
Note to self: Stop leaving notes to yourself, you never read them anyway...
My coworkers and I do this fun thing where they say `It`s so cold out!` and I say `It`s winter` and then we silently hate each other.
i got a dig bick..........how many read that wrong
Friends are like boobs. Some are real, some are fake