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Sadly, the opposite sex is ignoring me like a check engine light.
Call me crazy, but I don`t think I really need to be in this mental institution.
Why does this membership application to the YMCA not have "The Village People" as an option for "How did you hear about us?"
Somehow the talk went a little wrong with my 7 year old and now he`s convinced that birds have sex with bees and now he won`t eat honey.
Sorry, I can`t hangout. My uncle`s cousin`s sister in law`s best friend`s insurance agent`s roommate`s pet goldfish drowned. It was tragic.
I`m just a guy struggling to find the appropriate level of inappropriateness for every social interaction I`m unlucky enough to be a part of
Sure, I was walking home from the bar drunk, but I wasn`t even stumbling. My guess is, the cops just had it in for naked people.
I’m not sure why, but to me Cheerios sound like the happiest of all circular shaped cereals.
Every day is a constant battle of trying to convince myself I don’t like cookies.
eHarmony has a 24 month plan. How ugly do you have to be to need 2 years to find someone?
If you recieve something that says,”Send it to all your friends” , then please don`t consider me as your friend.
One fun way to describe Facebook is “imagine you are a mind reader in Walmart.”
I`ve been waiting all winter to complain about the summer heat
If a cop ever asks me to count from 100 backwards ...I just get in the back seat
gua suka sama kamu