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If you can`t handle me at my worst...I don`t blame you, neither can I.
If the sprayer in the sink can`t get it off and the dishwasher can`t get it off then I assume it`s just meant to be a part of the pan.
It should cost $10 to leave someone a voicemail.
Find a penny pick it up and all day long you`ll have good luck. Or some kind of virus because pennies are dirty and gross.
Whoever left me in charge of all this booze is going to have a lot to answer for tomorrow.
In the spirit of spring cleaning and Easter, I`m keeping the dust bunnies as decorations.
My mom just walked in and called me gay... If my nails weren`t drying i swear to God..
The internet is just another location for people to be wrong about things.
If there is not an open bar and a delicious cake at your wedding, I will take my gift card to Walmart back.
The Kids today just don`t appreciate the colors and flavors of Dial soap like I do
The baby gets furious when I try to undress him. Must get that from his mother.
Vodka: Taking you from a 6 to a 10 in five easy shots
The best revenge is to kidnap your enemy, tie him up, then pop bubble wrap in front of him and make him watch.
I hate it when someone turns the light on while I`m sleeping and I`m like O_-
Feeling a little sassy today...But then again, that`s everyday