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Just curious, when pirates use text, IM or twitter, do they used emoticons` like .) .P .D or .( or do they try to fool us by using the two eyed ones?
April Fools Day has been cancelled this year.
If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
Who`s further now, the Energizer Bunny or Voyager 1?
I finally stopped caring what other people think. I hope everyone’s ok with that.
How funny is it when you’re telling somebody a made-up story and someone says “Oh yeah I heard about that”?
"I`ve never seen an angry stoner, see angry drunks all the time!" Clearly you`ve never tried to take a stoner`s nachos away.
If the shoe fits, wear it. And if these shoes belong to someone else, walk away briskly.
The pollen is so bad this year that the trailer park people are changing crystal meth back into Sudafed.
Meanwhile on Facebook someone has made a casserole
One way to find out if you`re old is to fall down in front of a group of people. If they laugh, you`re young, if they panic, you`re old.
Car alarms should sound like two chicks in a fight. I`d look out the window for that.
People in sleeping bags are the soft tacos of the bear world.
"That`s too much bacon." -Nobody ever
I love strapping my kids into their car seats. It’s the closest I can legally come to putting them in straitjackets.