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We got about 5-6 inches of snow here in the last 24 hrs, or, according to men, we got 8 inches.
10 REASONS WHY I`M LAZY... you know what? Never mind. I can do this later.
I should be cleaning and disinfecting the toilet bowl today cause I have a feeling I`ll be hunched over hugging it later tonight.
I have lots of great personality traits. Or as my doctor calls them, symptoms.
The worst thing about parallel parking is witnesses.
Maybe America will believe in global warming if we make it a Snapple Fact.
The hardest question of the weekend.. can or bottle?
I’ve got bad news: Today is not Friday, Tomorrow is not Friday, Even the day after tomorrow is not Friday.
It`s not my official job but basically all I do is piss people off.
Santa gets all the credit and I get all the debt.
Some people wonder why I never like or comment on their posts. It’s because I unfollowed you a long time ago.
Who needs Google when you’ve got a wife who knows it all?
I look forward to paying off all my debt so I can get back to just being broke
Sure, I`ll show up at your Halloween Party... I`ll be coming as the invisible man....
Never do anything for money. Unless it’s a lot of money. Then do anything.