Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Hey ladies breastfeeding in public,...Why don`t you ever smile in my pictures?
Sticks and stones may break your bones. Also good: lead pipes.
Mother mosquito: Hey kiddo, how was your first flight? kid mosquito: Great mom! Everyone was clapping for me.
If it requires pants, its not happening today.
That`s not chapstick in my front pocket.
I may not have great parenting skills, but in my defense the kids don`t have great childing skills either.
Coworker: What did you do this weekend? Me: Dug holes in the woods. And that is how you get people to shut up.
I think today I`ll stalk my stalker, just to shake things up a little.
I`m getting so many spam emails. “Grow Your Hair Back”…”Lose weight now” …”Enlarge your manhood”… Wait… these are from my wife.
when a police officer yells turn around . Do not respond by singing . Every now and then i get a little bit lonely when you never come around
Happy Fathers Day from your handsomerist and smarterist son
I`d take a stupid dog over a stupid person any day.
Success is like being pregnant. Everybody congratulates you, But nobody knows how many times you were ****** before you got there.
love me or leave me,,HEY!!! where is everybody going?
I`m sure the guy standing at the urinal next to me, regrets wearing those flip flops today.