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Nothing makes me turn off my car and start leisurely Facebooking than someone honking at me to pull out of a parking space.
I don`t know what everyone`s complaining about. The economy looks great from my parents` basement.
People like you are the reason why the middle finger was invented
Turns out Xenophobia is not `A fear of Warrior Princesses`
Amazon’s recommendations are like that friend who heard you say “ninja” once and then got you ninja stuff for your birthday every year for twenty years
When I see you in hell I`ll still ignore you
Ya know those scenes where the guy shoves everything off the table and throws a woman on it yeah I`ve only done that with pizza
I knew the fun part of my life was over when my friends started getting pregnant on purpose
I checked my calendar, and I won`t give a f*ck tomorrow either.
All my life I thought air was free… and then I bought a bag of chips. ^^
Madonna is 55 her boyfriend is 22. Tina Turner is 75 her boyfriend is 40. JLo is 42 her boyfriend is 26. Still single? Relax. Your boyfriend hasn`t been born yet.
All these women on the 48 dating sites I`ve joined, seem so f*cking sad and desperate.
There are plenty of fish in the sea ...That`s cool and all....but I`m a human.
Probably the worst thing you can do to a person is leave them a voicemail.
Growing up teachers always told me there was no such thing as a stupid question. Eight years in retail has determined that was a lie.