Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I was about to read the story below. But it was too long.
Today, A 12 year-old came up to me and said "May I please have a cigarette?". I can`t believe kids this age are already so polite.
I believe in looking out for number one. Especially if the dog is not house trained.
Not all guys just want s@x... I want sandwiches too.
I`m convinced some people got married just so they could gripe about being married...
Tip for women; All men really want is to be close to someone who will leave them the hell alone.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, you have tits. Simple as that
I didn’t scream out someone else’s name during sex. I was thinking of baby names in case you get pregnant…
My phone dies faster than a black man in a horror film.
Nothing says lazy like laying on the couch making today`s responsibilities tomorrow`s problem.
Some of you need to be driven out to the country and released back into the wild
I can`t really walk the walk, or talk the talk. But, if you need someone to drink the drink, I`m your man!
The last time I was someone`s type, I was donating blood.
This spider just got away from me because I made the classic villain mistake of telling him my whole evil plan before killing him.
I suppose cougar is a better term than old whore.