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Lil Wayne is 10% African-American and 90% tattoo.
My therapist told me today that I need to stop talking to inanimate objects, but I mean he`s just a lamp so what does he really know anyway
If at first you don`t succeed ... I just lie and say I did.
There’s too much blood in my caffeine system
I didn´t outsmart you. You just outdumbed me.
Life would be more simple if the person who named the orange an orange would have named more things. ;) Just Sayin`
I’d be much more interested in meeting people if I didn’t think most people were idiots.
How are poor people so good at finding money for tattoos?
I could do so much more if I only had minions.
I went for a 6 mile run tonight. The police are getting in much better shape these days.
Rock bottom is when you get dinner at the same place you buy your gas.
High-five a veteran today.
Bring a hedgehog into the library and frantically ask the clerks where they keep the reverse spell casting books.
I want it all and I want it delivered.
Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from taking a nap.