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To those that manufacture and market tight, thin yoga pants to fit college girls; I love you man.
Don`t talk to me about disappointment. I had lots of adults tell me they were gonna "fix my little red wagon" yet here it sits with a broken wheel still
Everyone is gifted. But not everyone opens their present.
Surfing is a good choice for people who like skateboarding but wish it had more sharks.
The best neighbors are the ones you never see.
When one door closes and another one opens, your house is probably haunted.....
Iām not stupid. Iām just too lazy to show how smart I am.
Every dog is a badass until you decide to vacuum.
If I don`t remember what I did, don`t ruin it for me by reminding me.
It`s time to wave goodbye to winter. Guess what finger I`ll be using?
Me: There has to be a way I can lose weight! Friend: Eat healthy? Exercise? Me: No, that`s not it. Keep thinking! We`ll figure this out.
4/20? More like 1/5. Stupid stoners forgot how to reduce their fractions.
I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my mind and my temper
Tried to donate blood today but they had too many questions about where I got it.
Some people come into your life as blessings, others come into your life as lessons.