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When I was a kid they didn`t call it "Behavioral Disorders", They called it "Being a little brat".
A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
“I promise”, “I am sorry”, and “I love you” all have eight letters, but then again, so does “bullshit”.
Teaching your dog to fetch a beer is smart. Fetching it from the neighbours house is genius.
Two things I am thankful for: 1: Family and friends. 2: Caller ID, so I can avoid certain family and friends.
If I`ve offended you in the past, please accept my apology, and shove it up your a$$.
This "NORMAL" you speak of, doesn`t sound fun at all.
There`s really no telling how successful I could have been if the internet hadn`t been invented...
After opening this month`s electric bill, I am no longer scared of the dark.
I`m not funny, I`m just really mean and people think I`m joking.
Putting on deoderant and colonge because you haven`t showered in days, is as about as useful as shutting the lid on a toilet after its overflowing.
My favorite part about your rant on how much you hate social media sites was when you posted it from a social media site.
“Be yourself” is the worst advice you can give to some people.
I’ve never met a weekend that I didn’t like.
I`m pretty sober, but I`m prettier drunk.