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Couples have an amount they can spend up to without discussing with each other. Mine is around $50. My wife`s is around $643.27. Apparently
No need to thank me for accepting your friend request. We`ll both regret it soon enough.
I have a bumper sticker that says "Honk if you think I`m sexy!" Then I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself!
Some people are just bad news!!! Those are my favorite!
If women ruled the world, There would be no wars. just a bunch of counties not talking to each other!
My first crush was in kindergarten. I instantly knew I was doomed when she colored Neatly and Perfectly inside every line with a smug, superior smile
If my calculations are correct, I can retire about 5 years after I die.
DIET TIP: don’t eat chips right out of the bag. Get out just enough to eat until the pizza guy gets there.
Instead of sending people to jail, we should just make them eat the stringy things off bananas..
Well, just 8 more hours of Facebook and I can go back to bed. *phew*
It must be very hard to be a Nigerian lawyer who specializes in international inheritance law.
Played hide and seek today. I was winning until the cops let the K9 off of the leash.
Taxes are like a subscription to your country that you can`t cancel, no matter how bad the service gets.
Good For OJ, he gets to take another stab at life..
I try and inspire at least one person everyday to leave me the f*ck alone.