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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I have short term memory. I also like to fish. Also, I have short term memory.
A beautiful woman could post "My dog just died" and she would get replies like "Well, I`m not dead ;)"
Can Walmart be a feeling? I`m pretty sure that`s how I`m feeling today.
You just don’t see enough people being taken away in straight jackets anymore.
Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
Life is so much funnier when you have a dirty mind.
Do you like me? Breathe for yes, lick your elbow for no.
Life`s too short for Salad..............
The older I get the more use I have for the phrase "bite me."
I call it a Cupcake Salad. And I don`t see how it`s any of your business.
People would believe everything I say.. if it wasn`t for everything I say.
I hate being bipolar, it`s great .
I always hit the "no receipt" button at the ATM because I don`t need that negativity in my life.
"Based on a true story" means it happened more or less like this, but with ugly people.
My 5 year plan is to watch Netflix. All of it.