Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Apparently, you can only say "Look at you! You got so big!" to kids. Old girlfriends tend to get offended. Who knew?
Ever get the feeling someone is watching you when you sleep? Yeah, sorry about that.
Just hung a picture. I nailed it.
This "doing nothing" is hard work, how am I supposed to know when I`m done?
Have you ever make fun of someone so much, you think you should thank them for all the good times you´ve had?
I`m sorry, all I hear is your perfume
My kitchen is actually nothing more than a fruit hospice
90% of adulthood is just deleting emails.
You know nothing about a woman until she`s drunk and mad at you
Why do people with the most to say contribute the least?
That last phone call with my wife was so boring, I feel like I owe the NSA an apology.
I wish I was full of tacos instead of feelings.
Statement: "Do you really love me?" True Meaning: "Ive done something stupid and youre going to find out sooner or later."
I was really pissed at my girlfriend for not calling me all day. Then I remembered she`s imaginary. So I`m good.
Is it physically possible to be sad in rollerskates? Cause I think my cat`s just being dramatic.