Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Attn Single people: If marriage was so great, there would be 6 people on the internet right now.
Superman and Batman probably had a lot of "capes in the toilet water" accidents when they went to take a dump.
I often fantasize about lying naked in bed, surrounded by various bags of chips and I have octopus arms so I can eat all the chips at once.
My high school girlfriend got "uses her kids as her facebook profile picture" fat.
Girls here`s how to tell if a guy wants you for sex - 1: He does
I hate wasting alcohol on social occasions.
To be Frank, I`ll have to change my name.
Sure, I was walking home from the bar drunk, but I wasn`t even stumbling. My guess is, the cops just had it in for naked people.
I get a little nervous before saying Worcestershire sauce.
I put a bumper sticker that says "Honk if You Think I`m Sexy" on my car. Then I wait at green lights until I feel better about myself.
The funny moment when a fat kid says "that`s how I roll".
Is anyone else`s alcohol tolerance too high for their paycheck?
Always envied the kids who showed up to school with their 64 count Crayola crayons. If I wanted Burgundy or Salmon I had to ask in shame.
My last thought in life will probably be ” I wonder what happens if I touch this?”
It’s a status….not your diary…