Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I thought I was having deja vu, but it turns out I do the exact same things every day.
Whoever is bringing me the 3 dozen donuts each morning, thank you. But could you just leave them on my desk and not in the break room?
I`m afraid to hug fat girls....what if they`re hungry?
No way the guy from Operation is insured for any of those ridiculous medical procedures.
Anyone else has a plastic bag at home full of plastic bags?
Everytime someone says "Expect the unexpected" I like to punch them in the face and say "not as easy as it sounds, now is it?"
$10 says some idiot is gonna hear the word Ebola and think "that`d be a great name for my new baby!"
I know right from wrong. Wrong is the fun one.
Life…it’s just an “F” in lie.
At night I dump massive amounts of Legos on the floor in case anyone tries to rob my house bare footed.
Friends are like condoms… they protect you when things get hard.
Apparently, driving past police cars while drinking water from an old vodka bottle isn`t `funny` and is technically `wasting` police time :(
Of course China is dominating the olympics, they probably made all of the equipment.
Like a good neighbor,I don`t really care.
In your face with a can of mace, make you cry all over the place!!