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I just had a conversation with my-self...but it just turned into an argument. I think it`s that time of the month...
I read that a banana a day will help keep your colon clean. I just wish they would’ve mentioned that you’re supposed to eat them.....
"Don`t make me regret this." -things I think when accepting a friend request.
If you still pay for porn I just want you to know I have a butter churner and an abacus for sale.
Never cry over spilt milk. It could`ve been whiskey.
My Viagra addiction was the hardest time of my life.
One day, people are gonna write songs about the nap I`m about to take.
Its ironic how the colors Red, White and Blue represent freedom... until they are flashing behind your back.
You can tell by a woman`s feet how she feels about you. If they are behind her ears, she likes you.
If there wasn’t such thing as a last minute I’d never get anything done.
After 6 years, is it still all Bush`s fault or has it been reduced to "Unfortunate circumstances under no one`s control"?..............
Odd how all the `intelligent life finding instruments` are pointed away from earth.
I hate when the remote is way over there
I`m trying to give up sexual innuendos. But it`s hard........so hard......
You`re the reason why I wake up every morning... Just kidding, I have to go to work.