Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How the hell do you call Batman during the day?
My dad said if I don`t get of facebook in 3 seconds he would jab my face into the keyboahajsirksjapquebxm
Its not my fault if I blame everyone for my mistakes...right?
The whole purpose of vacationing is to make you appreciate knowing where the channels are at home.
I’m considering becoming a mind reader ... What are your thoughts?
One thing I`ll never understand is alcohol free wine
You should have seen the guy who unlocked the liquor store this morning. It was like he never saw anyone roll up a sleeping bag before.
75% of men kiss their wives good bye when leaving the house. 100% kiss their house good bye when leaving their wives.
I hate when you tell someone you’re bored, and they suggest getting together. Then you have to explain that you’re not quite that bored.
Why do I even have unlimited texting?
I`m so proud of myself, I spent all night putting my Christmas decorations up myself.. I`m now at the hospital having them removed
My wife is great at multitasking. She can be mad at me for five different things at the same time.
At any given time my wallet is worth more than its contents.
We all just sat there and watched as Pepe Le Pew tried to rape that cat. Shame on us.
I keep seeing all these commercial on TV about working out and getting "ripped" in 90 days.. Give me a bottle of Jack Daniels and I`ll get ripped in 15 minutes