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Olympic Mens Ice Hockey USA vs Canada. Loser keeps Justin Bieber.
Redneck Word : debate...i was gonna go fishin today but forgot to bring debate
I`m at the "what can I make with green beans and cake mix" stage of needing groceries
The sexiest fantasy in 50 Shades Of Grey is the bit where she gets a job in journalism without having to do years of unpaid work experience.
The only problem with using the treadmill is that you can`t run from your own farts.
My girlfriend would be so mad if he found out that I`m telling people she`s my girlfriend.
I`m not saying I have a questionable work ethic, but I just got called lazy by a guy wearing velcro shoes.
I was asked what I look for in a relationship. Apparently, "A way out" wasn`t the right answer.
For once I`d like to see "It`s been a crappy year, mainly cause your were part of it"
Jehovah`s Witnesses, Improving my hiding skills since 1974.
if money grew of trees, girls would be dating monkeys
The "best part of waking up" doesn`t even make sense.
I`ve been catfishing my best friend for the last 3 weeks. He`s gunna pay me that $50 he owes me or I`m showing these emails to his wife.
I thought my life would include more impromptu sing-alongs.
new years resolution #1: stop losing the powerball