Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
People, like prescription drugs, should have to list the side effects they`re likely to cause.
Oh no! I have to enter my date of birth to view this explicit content! Damn this internet security!
A friend of mine asked what it`s like to raise a small toddler so I coughed directly in his mouth
Waitress: "Hi, my nam-" Me: "Vodka martini, please."
Its not my fault if I blame everyone for my mistakes...right?
It`s not a walk of shame if you leave on a pogo stick.
I was disappointed to learn that the Discovery Channel’s program “Deadliest Catch” wasn’t about first marriages.
I`m sorry I snort-laughed when you were saying your vows.
I mean if men are better at math why do they get the lenght wrong all the time.
I think it`s really strange how some people talk to their animals, give them personalities and make up voices for them. My dog, Benjamin, agrees with me.
I don`t get why people find drunk texts annoying. You`re the person they`re thinking of when their brain can`t even function properly.
That sounds fried. I`ll take it.
Next time some one does something REALLY stupid, just smack them and say, "Man, did you see the size of that bug?"
Lazy Rule: If you spill water, It will eventually dry.
You must be a parking ticket or something for the word FINE is written all over you.