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Where do homeless people find all these sharpies?
I`m as nutty as a squirell fart
I`ll be thankful when this thankful month is over.
I need a hug right now also five hundred thousand dollars in cash.
The next time there`s an awkward silence, try whispering, "Did you forget your line?"
What Meatloaf wouldn`t do for love I would probably do for a six pack.
It was hard getting over my addiction to the Hokey Pokey, but I’ve turned myself around.
The wife finally agreed to anal sex... Does anyone know what a strap-on is?
Instead of “single” as a relationship option, it should read “independently owned and operated”
Chess says everything about men and women. The King has to take things one step at a time, while the Queen can do whatever the hell she wants.
How do nudist clean their glasses?
why were you in my dreams again? i`m starting to think you`re stalking me.
I’m not a “stalker”. I want to make sure you’re okay at all times. You can look at me as an unpaid bodyguard.
You seem to be very educated on the things you make up.
Ice skating is just walking in cursive.