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We´re responsible for most of what happens to us, the rest is probably Voodoo.
Just because you think it`s a bad idea doesn`t mean we won`t have a good time.
If you eat it in the car before you get home, it never existed.
I don`t want to be bothered with stupid $h!t today. What is stupid $h!t? Anything I don`t want to be bothered with.
Whoever said your harshest critic is yourself was clearly never married.
I was a huge tomboy. Like, I had barbies, but only because my ninja turtles needed bitches.
If you`ve Liked more than 15 of my posts over the past year, I assume you`re okay with me putting you down as a personal reference on this job application, k?
I feel like landlords who don’t allow dogs but DO allow children, don’t know very much about children.
I may not be a veterinarian, but I know a horses a$$ when I meet one.
I`m about 0 for 300 in looking for safes behind wall paintings
No one ever reads the rules of Monopoly unless an argument breaks out.
If your cat has a Facebook page, we can`t be friends.
When I said I like it rough I was talking about the sex, not the whole entire relationship...
Iam not as THINK as you DRUNK iam!!
I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and crap a better status than yours!