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10 REASONS WHY I`M LAZY... you know what? Never mind. I can do this later.
Never judge a book by it`s movie.
Calm down, take a deep breath and hold it for about 20 minutes.
What doesn`t kill you makes you stronger. Except for bears. Bears will kill you.
I have no interest in skydiving. I get enough of an adrenaline rush hoping my credit card goes through
pumpkin for sale, slightly used
Forget resolutions, Imma just say from now on... TGIS "Thank God I Survived" ! :)
Look for my new diet book: "How To Work Out And Watch What You Eat And Still Gain Plenty Of Weight"
Just spent the last 30 minutes cutting a Batman mask off the back of a box of Honey Nut Cheerios & my kid thinks he`s gonna get to wear it.
The secret to success is sincerity. Once you can fake it then you`ve got it made!
People pay to sponsor animals in the wild and get pic updates on it. Well if anyone would like to sponsor me I will send you a selfie a day.
"This is groundbreaking stuff." - Inventor of the shovel
I would tell you to go to he!! but all dogs go to heaven.
Ain`t no sandwich when she`s gone.
They say children are a gift from god. I`m totally wide-open to regifting.