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The Hobbit 2: we`ve still got a long way to walk
My next relationship will be with someone who thinks "Wine" is a perfectly acceptable answer when he asks what`s for dinner.
I mixed coffee with Red Bull today..I got half way to work when I realized I forgot my car!
If you have to ask if it`s too early to drink wine...You`re an amateur and we can`t be friends.
Nothing says “I don’t take you seriously” like your dog wagging his tail when you are yelling at him.
It`s impossible to look like a bad ass while eating a snow cone.
I´m playing that game where the floor is made of lava, so I obviously can´t get off the couch or I´ll die.
Is it safe to take off my Winter Solstice Glasses yet?
I`m not lazy. I`m just highly motivated to not do anything.
I wish my car was fueled by my lack of desire to go to work.
If you have really strong opinions on subjects that you know very little about... then Facebook just may be the perfect thing for you.
Maybe, just once, someone will call me "Sir" without adding, "You`re making a scene."
Your trophy wife is more of a participation trophy wife, isn`t she?
I used to think drinking was bad until i stopped thinking
Me in a shopping mall: "I like that stuff" *looks at pricetag* "i don`t like it anymore"