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The best nicknames are the ones people don`t know they have.
Telling a girl to calm down is like trying to baptize a cat.
Just like our bodies, our minds need exercise. That`s why I think of jogging every morning.
You`d think this moron wandering around the lot would give up after 10 minutes and push the alarm button to find their car ... But I won`t
When I see people drinking at 11 am on a Friday I`m like, where do you work and are they hiring?
Don`t just lay there... Move! Bounce! Do something!! ~ me, pleading with my hair
Why isn`t Hungary`s capital city called "Very"
I hope I die alone. I mean, you`d have to be a pretty big jerk to hope others die with you.
My doctor asked if any members of you family suffers from insanity, I replied "nope they seem to enjoy it!"
Nobody cares what you`re gonna do in 2015. Now post some nudes.
Since they`re loud and heavily scented already, Abercrombie & Fitch stores really are the ideal spot to go fart.
You can usually judge a women`s hotness by how many times your girlfriend calls her a whore.
With my luck, I’ll die and get reincarnated as myself.
i havnt seen any status`s about ninjas lately.... well played ninjas
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!