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Finally did it. 25 inflatable mattresses later and Iβve finally turned my apartment into a bounce castle.
Itβs embarrassing that 90% of my Google history is just words I wasnβt sure how to spell, and yes I googled embarrassing.
Debt doesn`t buy happiness either.
I do marathons ... on Netflix.
Apparently there is no age limit on ignorance.
Pretty nice opinion you got there. It`d be a shame if someone were to...not give a sh*t about it
1: Say "Unh! 2: Mumble three spanish words. 3: list four cities. You just made a Pitbull song.
"There`s strength in numbers" I whisper to my 9th slice of pizza.
I`m kind of like Hugh Hefner. Only without the mansion, the exotic cars, the girls, the magazine and the money. Basically, I`m just a guy in a bathrobe.
Whenever I hear someone say βSTOPβ my brain says βHammer Timeβ
Why does McDonalds call it a drive thru when you have to drive AROUND the building?
You lost your phone and it`s on silent? Too bad. If you liked it then you should`ve put a ring on it.
It is impossible to simultaneously keep up a) hope and b) with the Kardashians.
Gravity didn`t seem this strong twenty-five years ago.
If Jesus was the son of Mary and he was the Lamb of God, Does that mean Mary had a Little Lamb?