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Men look at boobs for the same reason women look at puppies in cages. We just want to set them free and play with them.
There comes a time in the day, when no matter what the question, the answer is booze.
When all else fails… Pizza & Beer.
Learn cursive, they said. You`ll need it your whole life, they said.
Somehow, going into The Dollar Store and asking for a price check just never gets old.
Life was much easier when apples and blackberries were fruits&& not phones
’twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, everyone was screaming ... cuz I went into the wrong house.
You know you`re getting old when cops make you feel safe instead of nervous.
The problem is not the problem, the problem is your attitude about the problem.
Alcohol increases the Send Button size by 89%.
Pro tip: Do not make snow angels in a dog park.
Calling all men...Eboli can live up to two months in semen..YES! You better wash your socks.
An empty fridge is a sad fridge.
I am sorry I wasn`t being completely honest when I said I was normal.
Sorry I got really drunk and ended up being really mouthy and offensive at your party next week.