Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m at the age where I need at least 3 weeks advance notice before doing anything spontaneous
This nude beach would be great!...if I wasn`t the only one participating.
With the rise of self-driving vehicles, eventually there will be a country song about how your truck left you too.
Running feels great unless you compare it to not running
I`ll be a morning person when it`s Christmas.
I wish I could have the Price Is Right audience around whenever I’m making important life decisions.
If a bag is not resealable then it contains one serving. I don`t make the rules.
Maybe there`s no such thing as automatic doors, just gentlemen ninjas.
I wish computer companies would design a keyboard with a removable crumb tray, kinda like my toaster.
It’s pretty scary that before facebook… All these thoughts and stuff just stayed in peoples heads.
Adding “and sh!t” at the end of a sentence can make anything sound thug. Example: “I was playing with my bubbles and sh!t.”
The difference between a straight girl and a lesbian is about four or five drinks.
Immature is just a word boring people use to describe fun people.
You ever notice that the number of extra steps a drunk takes getting home? ...its staggering!
When I die I want someone to play that little death jingle from Mario Bros at my funeral.